in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
