i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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