that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize