Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
