We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm at about main and main street
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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