I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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