Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
