im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize