Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
