hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
