There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
