You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
