dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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