Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
