I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize