Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
