if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
