I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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