you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
