I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
