No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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