I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
