too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
