you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
