I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
