Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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