I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she told me i tasted like america
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
