Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Text me some of your sweat
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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