She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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