so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize