it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
