Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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