so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize