please come you make the beer taste better
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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