I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
