He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
