oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I looked at my own cervix.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize