But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
