I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She bit a glass in half.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
