Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
