I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
