At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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