I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
