...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
