Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize