dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
