How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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