If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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