he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
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