I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
