i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
