only if we run a train.
done.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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