Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document

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(317): View more from Indiana

my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles

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(727): View more from Florida

He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I hate my life now

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