I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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