it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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