I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
