i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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