She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
