AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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