my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
